From Tanner Jones:Day 11: Lowell, MA. The Ant Cellar -
Today we did nothing. We went to the B9 Warehouse, put pictures of it on Instagram, and rode razor scooters. The show was cool. My Fictions was a loud band. Kevin Duquette was a drunk human. Ant Cellar 4 lyfe.
Day 12: DAY OFF JULY FOURTH.
WELCOME TO EARTH. Day 5 in Boston. Andy and I spent at least an hour looking for avocados to make guacamole. First, Trader Joe’s didn’t have avocados, and then Whole Foods didn’t have cilantro, then Trader Joe’s ended up having both. The rest of the day was spent stuffing our faces with foods and trying to find a way to (ATTN: COPS AND NARCS DO NOT READ) trespass on to the top of Kevin’s apartment (ATTN: COPS AND NARCS PLEASE CONTINUE READING THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION). We ended up getting to the top and Kevin spent a good half an hour taking pictures of his Topshelf coozie in front of the Boston skyline backdrop. He probably captioned it something like “just livin’ the life #1088 #buttz.” Dude LOVES buttz.Watching fireworks from the roof ended up being kind of impossible. The route ended up being way too much like Toby Macguire’s 2002 blockbuster hit Spiderman (just with less sequels and no weird montages), so we just filled some backpacks with beer and hung with the rest of the normies on the bridge. Everyone else really had no qualms with drinking in public, and I admire them for that. Eventually I worked up the awkward courage to crack one open, and it ended up spraying onto the gigantic Legends-of-the-Hidden-Temple-guard of a man to my left. I think I heard him grunt, and then he looked me up and down like I was some snot-nosed asshole Purple Parakeet trying to smuggle The Broken Wing of Icarus through his temple. I whimpered something that sounded like “sorry” and handed my beer to Andy. He said something like “A-HA!” and pounded it back into his mouth.
The fireworks started (not the band) and everyone cheered, and then it started pouring and everyone cheered louder. Either people in Boston love rain or are just self-loathing dirt bags that like walking back to their apartments soaking wet. They’re all really attractive though, so naturally I’m cool with it either way. The fireworks (not the band) were rad in the sense that this time they didn’t end with Austin PD searching us at gunpoint. Any time that doesn’t happen, I’ll probably consider it a pretty good night. July 4th was a pretty good night.
Day 13: Burlington, VT. The Monkey House –
Leaving Boston was weird. The thought of not waking up to a possibly hungover Kevin Duquette in loose-fitting boxer briefs is something I don’t like to think about. All in all, we accepted our fate and said our goodbyes.
We’ve only made the drive from Boston, MA to Burlington, VT once before as a band roughly 2 years ago on our first east coaster. I’m not really sure why we don’t just suck it up and do it more often, because that has to be by far the best drive in the country. If all drives were popular tumblr posts, this drive would be GIFs. Burlington doesn’t place too far behind though. Lake Champlain would definitely be Ryan Gosling in the sense that there were even girls there, but I still would have rather admired Lake Champlain’s beauty (but like, in a totally masculine, tough guy with muscles kind of way).
The show ended up ruling. The bill was stacked. Our guy Tyler Daniel Bean ended up opening, and it’s probably the first time I’ve ever heard someone’s voice sound better than it does in recordings. So good. Jess in The New and Very Welcome played next, but she didn’t play her Saves the Day cover even though I cool-guy hinted at it over pizza. She thought Tim and I forgot her name. We didn’t. Suck it.